Let's talk self-confidence (or lack of)

Everyone suffers from a lack of self-confidence from time to time. In an ever-growing environment whereby academic funding is getting more and more meagre, and grades expected of individuals wanting to pursue the academic route (with funding) can be no lower than a First Class, it can be particularly easy to have “am I good enough?” moments. Even with funding I still have a lack of confidence every now and again – although my lack of confidence tends to be about different things in comparison to my worries prior to attaining MA and PhD funding. Instead of “is my research idea fundable?”, it’s “will I be able to live up to what’s expected of me?”. With different opportunities and experiences, comes different pressures and expectations, and therefore different worries.

Proclaiming that you have a lack of self-confidence occasionally isn’t something we should be ashamed of. It doesn’t mean we are weak, incapable, unconfident, doomed-to-failure, or even unsure of ourselves; it means we are normal, functioning human beings that care about what we do. Even the most self-confident people can have a lack of confidence every now and again about certain things. In today’s society, we are often judged based upon what grades we attain and how well we do in education, and obviously in academia academic achievements are vital. The better the grades and research ideas, the better chance you have in getting PhD funding and entering into academia – simple. But it’s not simple, and that lack-of-confidence voice that we all have inside of us can pipe up at crucial times when we need to keep focused and confident in ourselves and abilities. Sometimes just the pressure of getting the grades can make us crumble slightly, and before you know it you’re questioning if you’ll get through it and if you’re capable enough. Here’s a friendly reminder, you are good enough and you can get through it. We all have those crumbling, lack of self-confidence moments, especially when we are working within a high-pressurised environment where expectations of people’s (and your own) abilities are high. A lot of the time, it’s the people that are more than capable that suffer from bouts of lack of self-confidence!

In my case, I’m my own biggest and harshest critic. My work can always be better, and it’s never quite good enough in my mind – even come deadline day when it’s time for my work to be handed in. If it’s the highest grade it can be, it still could be better. And it’s true, it could be. Does this mean I’m lacking in self-confidence? It’s probably partly that, but I think it’s also partly because I know I’m still a work-in-progress and that’s okay. My supervisor gave me some really good advice when I was worrying about the level of my work the other week, and it’s stuck with me ever since.  He said that I’m learning to learn. Academia is a constant learning curve and you’re not going to be fully formed from the start or probably at the end of an academic career. Over time, your writing style will develop and get better, as will your ideas and the way you think about things and articulate yourself – but there’s always room for change and development. A really renowned academic in my research field (Sociology of Religion), Peter Berger, actually admitted that one of his predictions was wrong and then re-formulated his argument to go against his earlier writings and idea. Within the academic setting, we are susceptible to things changing as we continue to learn – we are constantly evolving if you like. Essentially, we don’t have to reach our expectations on every single piece of work, sometimes we can just miss the grade we want, sometimes we can even be wrong, but that doesn’t matter; as long as we get back up and do better next time and, more importantly, still believe in our capabilities (at least for most of the time). 

I think once you accept that the nature of academic work means that you’re, more often than not, a constant work-in-progress then you will start having more confidence in your own self as the pressure won’t be as intense. Like I’ve said, sometimes the pressure of getting the “best” grades or having the “best” ideas etc. can force you into questioning if you’re good enough – especially when you’re in a sea of high-achieving people within the academic setting! But even the best academics sometimes don’t quite hit the mark. We are all capable of doing well, in the same way we are all capable at times of not doing as well as we’d like. This doesn’t mean you’re a crap academic or student, or that you should rightly have a lack of self-confidence; it just means that you have to continue to work hard and have faith in your own self and ideas, and not to beat yourself up if things don’t go perfectly along the way! 

Keeping momentum with motivation

Those long, dreary days where there is not the slightest productive bone in your body no matter how much you want to work and get things done – sound familiar? Let’s talk about it.

I thought whilst I am unfortunately experiencing one of those days today, I might as well write about it (and procrastinate even more)! Also, I think by actually sitting down and thinking about how unproductive the day is going can be a rather useful thing to do. It forces you to really contemplate why am I actually having such a bad work day? And if I’m completely honest, I need to try and fathom why am I having such an unproductive week?… So, after trying to figure out what it is that I’m doing wrong this week, I came to the conclusion that having a lack of motivation from time to time, no matter how passionate you are about your work, is inevitable. Sometimes there can be just so much to do that it’s easy to stall just from not knowing how to start, or where to begin. In my case, however, I think I’m stalling because I just can’t seem to be happy with any of the work/essays I have produced no matter how hard I try to make them better. This is a common thing, right? As a self-confessed perfectionist, I can really make managing my own work so much harder than it ought to be. Because of this, negative emotions can swiftly appear within seconds and then I feel even more unmotivated than before. I really do think it’s unavoidable to experience these feelings every now and again whilst in the process of academic work (unless you’re superhuman and manage to avoid such emotions – then go you!). It’s just figuring out how to exit these negative emotions as swiftly as they appear.

Firstly, in order to try and tackle these negative emotions that accompany feeling unmotivated, I’ve realised it’s so important to just accept the fact that you’re not having a productive day and don’t be so hard on yourself about it. Often it is so easy to become riddled with guilt when you know you’re not being as productive as you should be (and then that frustration aspect quickly comes into play), but with academic work sometimes your brain just isn’t in the mood for it. This doesn’t mean you’re a failure as someone that wants to do well academically, especially if you want to go down the actual academic route into the profession. With internal pressures (the pressures we put on ourselves) and external pressures (the pressures that others put on you), we as individuals are quick to feel bad about ourselves, even if we just have one unproductive day and work like a machine the rest. Let go of the pressures for a little while, even if it’s just for an hour, and do something for you that will force you to enter into a different headspace. In doing so, you will start to get a grip of your focus again and hopefully productivity will follow – and those negative emotions will dwindle away.

That said, sometimes there simply isn’t the time to have an unproductive day or week (or two?). In this case – as harsh as this may sound – you just have to suck it up, get a grip of yourself and force that productivity to happen. This is my current situation for sure. I just don’t have the time to let the day’s escape me without getting a good amount of work done. You just have to find a way to plough through your lack-of-motivation levels, and emotions, and get stuff done. The way how I deal with days like these is I remind myself about why I’m doing what I’m doing in the first place, and what I expect of myself in the process. Sometimes those internal pressures can be so good for you, as they can make you have a bit of a reality check and force you back into shape. I also have a tendency to do something as simple as checking my calendar, and looking at how many days I have left until the deadlines, and even other things in the calendar like Christmas for instance (because who wants loads of work to do over Christmas?!). Sometimes just visually reminding yourself of where you are in the month in relation to important dates can be the kick that you need. I’m currently also planning fun things to do on certain days, and in doing that I’m creating personal deadlines for myself. If you know you can’t work for half a day because there’s something else that you’ve planned to do, there is always a bigger sense of urgency to get more things done in the full days that you have to work! Also, sometimes it’s just the case of actually starting your work (I know this sounds obvious), and once you’ve done that it’s so much easier to get into the swing of things more and get into a productive flow.

There’s no denying that feeling unmotivated with work on some days can make you feel so rubbish, but everyone experiences days like these so don’t beat yourself up too much. A lot of the time, it’s just getting yourself into the right mentality and starting the day with positive thoughts about how productive you can and will be. If you’re just having one of those days where you can’t help but be unproductive, then just move on from it and start fresh later on in the day or even the next day. I hope some of my own personal thoughts and tips on this issue helps. Let’s be positive and productive, guys!