Let's talk self-confidence (or lack of)

Everyone suffers from a lack of self-confidence from time to time. In an ever-growing environment whereby academic funding is getting more and more meagre, and grades expected of individuals wanting to pursue the academic route (with funding) can be no lower than a First Class, it can be particularly easy to have “am I good enough?” moments. Even with funding I still have a lack of confidence every now and again – although my lack of confidence tends to be about different things in comparison to my worries prior to attaining MA and PhD funding. Instead of “is my research idea fundable?”, it’s “will I be able to live up to what’s expected of me?”. With different opportunities and experiences, comes different pressures and expectations, and therefore different worries.

Proclaiming that you have a lack of self-confidence occasionally isn’t something we should be ashamed of. It doesn’t mean we are weak, incapable, unconfident, doomed-to-failure, or even unsure of ourselves; it means we are normal, functioning human beings that care about what we do. Even the most self-confident people can have a lack of confidence every now and again about certain things. In today’s society, we are often judged based upon what grades we attain and how well we do in education, and obviously in academia academic achievements are vital. The better the grades and research ideas, the better chance you have in getting PhD funding and entering into academia – simple. But it’s not simple, and that lack-of-confidence voice that we all have inside of us can pipe up at crucial times when we need to keep focused and confident in ourselves and abilities. Sometimes just the pressure of getting the grades can make us crumble slightly, and before you know it you’re questioning if you’ll get through it and if you’re capable enough. Here’s a friendly reminder, you are good enough and you can get through it. We all have those crumbling, lack of self-confidence moments, especially when we are working within a high-pressurised environment where expectations of people’s (and your own) abilities are high. A lot of the time, it’s the people that are more than capable that suffer from bouts of lack of self-confidence!

In my case, I’m my own biggest and harshest critic. My work can always be better, and it’s never quite good enough in my mind – even come deadline day when it’s time for my work to be handed in. If it’s the highest grade it can be, it still could be better. And it’s true, it could be. Does this mean I’m lacking in self-confidence? It’s probably partly that, but I think it’s also partly because I know I’m still a work-in-progress and that’s okay. My supervisor gave me some really good advice when I was worrying about the level of my work the other week, and it’s stuck with me ever since.  He said that I’m learning to learn. Academia is a constant learning curve and you’re not going to be fully formed from the start or probably at the end of an academic career. Over time, your writing style will develop and get better, as will your ideas and the way you think about things and articulate yourself – but there’s always room for change and development. A really renowned academic in my research field (Sociology of Religion), Peter Berger, actually admitted that one of his predictions was wrong and then re-formulated his argument to go against his earlier writings and idea. Within the academic setting, we are susceptible to things changing as we continue to learn – we are constantly evolving if you like. Essentially, we don’t have to reach our expectations on every single piece of work, sometimes we can just miss the grade we want, sometimes we can even be wrong, but that doesn’t matter; as long as we get back up and do better next time and, more importantly, still believe in our capabilities (at least for most of the time). 

I think once you accept that the nature of academic work means that you’re, more often than not, a constant work-in-progress then you will start having more confidence in your own self as the pressure won’t be as intense. Like I’ve said, sometimes the pressure of getting the “best” grades or having the “best” ideas etc. can force you into questioning if you’re good enough – especially when you’re in a sea of high-achieving people within the academic setting! But even the best academics sometimes don’t quite hit the mark. We are all capable of doing well, in the same way we are all capable at times of not doing as well as we’d like. This doesn’t mean you’re a crap academic or student, or that you should rightly have a lack of self-confidence; it just means that you have to continue to work hard and have faith in your own self and ideas, and not to beat yourself up if things don’t go perfectly along the way!