'That thing we all hate talking about'...

Kirsten Dutton is a 3rd Year PhD student in the Geosciences group at Newcastle University. Her thesis title is: ‘From sediment to rock: the role of microbes in the early lithification of sabkha sediments’. In today's blog post, Kirsten opens up dialogue about mental health in academia, and shares her own advice about how to make the PhD process slightly easier when dealing with mental health issues. Follow her on Twitter at: @KirstenDutton 

Mental health, particularly in academia, is never an easy conversation… but it should be. So, let’s start a conversation.

Academia is rife with mental health issues whether it be because most people, staff and student, are constantly juggling all their life, research, teaching, admin responsibilities with the pressures of getting and staying funded or because the brain that lends itself to academia can also be the brain which is susceptible to mental health issues. This isn’t a secret, yet quite frankly, I don’t see much being done about it, particularly at a university level.

I am one of the people within academia with mental health issues. I came in to my PhD with diagnosed anxiety and depression which began to present themselves during the later years of my undergraduate degree and got progressively worse as time went on.

It hasn’t been an easy road, it still isn’t. I’m a perfectionist and I always want to know all the answers and it infuriates me when I don’t. This leads to an almost constant case of ‘imposter syndrome’. Honestly, there have been days where getting out of bed was the only win of the day.  

I can’t say I’m doing great much of the time but I can say I’m doing alright most of the time, which is certainly a heck of a lot more of the time than I used to be able to. This is something that is going to always be part of my life but I’m learning to manage it, learning to talk about it and most of all, I’m learning to let people help me. I won’t give up and I do truly believe, that despite all my issues, I will get my PhD.

A PhD is never going to be easy. Let’s face it, it would be pointless if it was. However, here are some things that can be done in various combinations to help when it all gets a bit much:

Disclaimer: I’m still figuring this all out for myself and I’ve tried many of these. Not all have worked for me but they’ve all helped me learn something about myself and figure out what can help me. Experiment and find what works for you.

Breathe – Try a meditation or breathing based yoga class or app – believe me, they work even if it feels a bit bizarre to begin with.

Keep a journal of your mood/feelings – it’ll help you spot patterns of negativity. This journal concept I’ve found through the new-fangled trend of ‘Bullet Journaling’ – where you track your life through a series of self-drawn, very pretty pages in a notebook. It’s great for keeping track but the perfectionist in me has had to learn that all those pages don’t have to look as pretty as the ones featured on Instagram…

Cut yourself some slack when you find it hard to keep on top of everything – this is the bit I struggle the most with. ‘I’m doing a PhD, I got this far, I should just be able to cope…’’ Ha, if only it was that easy. Just remember that you got this far, you deserve to be there!

Get a hobby or go back to an old one – hobbies are the first thing I dropped when I wasn’t feeling great but they are what can help the most. I have recently gone back to swimming after a long hiatus. It has helped establish a degree of normalcy back in to my life and whilst cliche, the whole release of the all-important endorphins does wonders.

Talk to your family and friends – they might be going through or have gone through something similar and have some advice or can just offer moral support as you find a way to get through it.

Talk to your supervisors or other academic staff – I am very lucky to be surrounded by a supportive supervisory team both on an academic and personal level. They sit with me when I’m crying (again…) and offer guidance when and where I need it. They help me more than I think they will ever possibly know.

University Counselling – this service is great for short term issues, particularly for undergraduates.  There tends to be a limit to a small number of sessions per year due to demand so it might not be the best approach if you have a longer-term issue. It is, however, a great start when looking for help, they can offer advice on the options open to you. It’s also great if you are starting to recognise early signs of mental health issues and they can help nip it in the bud.

See your GP for a referral to your local Counselling/Therapy network – seeing a counsellor or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) specialist is all about talking through the feelings which prompt your behaviour and thoughts. There is often a bit of a waiting list for these services because this part of the NHS is massively underfunded, however, they may ask or you can offer (if you are willing) to see a trainee. Some people are scared by this concept but they have the necessary training they are just in the process of completing the practical portion of their qualification.

Private therapy – Personally I do psychotherapy via this route having tried the above counselling options and it’s what has helped me the most. I’ve found the therapist who is the right fit for me (vitally important when pursuing therapy) and we’ve been working together for nearly 18 months now.

Group counselling – check out the university services, posters around campus, the local library and gyms.

I can’t stress enough the importance of talking. Please speak up if you are having issues with your mental health during your PhD or at any time. There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. You are experiencing one of life’s much harder moments and you might find if you speak up there is a whole community around you, many with their own mental health experiences, who want to support you.